Author: Pamela Druckerman
Published year:
Genres: Culture French Parenting
Status: Done
The Book in 3 Sentences
Top Quotes
Summary & Reflection
Delayed gratification
E.g. if you manage not to eat this candy until I come back, you’ll be rewarded another one. If you eat it, you only get this one.
The good delayers distract themselves instead of fixing eyes on the candy. Having willpower to wait is not being stoic but learning techniques to make waiting less frustrating. Among all, self-distract is the simplest.
Making children delay gratification makes them calmer and more resilient. Children can’t get what they want right away, they tend to go from calm to hysterical in seconds.
Cope with frustration
You won’t damage your kids by frustrating them, they’ll be damaged if they can’t cope with frustration.
The couple comes before the children.
Children shouldn’t invade the parents’ whole universe. She needs to understand she is not the center of the world and this is important for her development.
When couples get leisure time alone together, it helps them tremendously as a couple, rejuvenates them personally and re-inspired their parenting.
- Take time to enjoy “adults time” after their bed time. Don’t feel bad to leave kids with grandparents and just have your own date nights.
- Take a ten day vacation with husband every year. Kids also need space from parents. When we all reunite it’s very sweet.
In the family order, it’s parents then children. Sharing power with kids doesn’t exist, you don’t want to have a child king.
C’est moi qui décide.
C’est moi qui commande.
Parents say these phrases to remind both kids and themselves who’s the boss.
Éducation - bien élevé
Cadre: a firm frame, surrounding lots of freedom. In other words, be strict about few key things and then leave kids as free as possible. Minor bêtises are fine.
Use “Doucement” a lot
On fait pas ça.